Much like the temperature in a room that you control with your thermostat, so too is it with your love relationship and the intimacy you choose to cultivate. Are you running cold? Luke warm?Here are a four tips to crank the heat up together with your partner:
1. Tone of voice How your voice sounds - it's inflections, pitch, speed, tone - all play a role in how your partner "hears you". Maybe you need to soften or tone it down, sound a bit more enthusiastic to speak with your partner, even lower it for a more calculated sensual voice. Much of how we are "read" in our mood by our partner is communicated through our voice. Especially if conversation is not face-to-face. Practice using different vocal tones and see how the results change in how your message is received.
2. Choose your words - make it HOT!
What words get your partner excited, aroused? Do you know what conversational words are their "hot buttons"? Are you using appropriate terminology for body parts that heighten your partners interest? If your partner refers to his penis as his "dick" and you call it a "cock" in building momentum for sexual stimulation - it could be a big downer and work against you. Some might find calling breasts by their anatomic name what they prefer, others my be aroused (or turned off) by "tits". It's a good idea to have a conversation with your partner about what words and terms they find arousing for body parts. Then, you can go to town and maximize how you speak to your partner to initiate arousal.
3. Sext it
Nothing can stimulate the brain more than hearing those hot words via text message in the middle of your day, randomly from your partner. Now I'm not talking about doing this with strangers (which could provoke a totally different response), but with someone whom you share an intimate life with. When people get married or settle in to their relationship, they tend to forget how this can get the blood flowing! Just a "Hey baby, I'm just sitting here at my desk thinking about you and how wet your dick makes me!" or "I wish I was there to put my tongue in all the places you like." Get creative! A simple but hot sentence sent via text can begin to set the mood during the day for what may come later.
4. Do something erotic and unexpected
Many couples get stagnant in the bedroom because of boredom and routine. Switch it up! Go run to the boutique store and grab a new piece of lingerie, put it on before your partner arrives home for dinner, prance around the house in it (or even naked -pending no kids in the vicinity!) while you cook. Let him walk in to a totally different you! Step outside your norm. Use your imagination. You can also put a surprise gift on the bed for them to open (if they are into gifts), or drop flower petals leading a path to a relaxing bath - with towel, lit candles, bath robe, etc all ready set out for them to enjoy. The key here is to create an element of wonderful surprise, doing the unexpected just to keep things interesting, that will certainly turn up the heat!
When it's cold outside, let it be flaming hot inside! You can change the atmosphere in your home and the level of intimacy with a few adjustments - up or down. Just like a thermostat. Give these tips a try and see for yourself the results you get. I'm sure you can think up others of your own. Think of these as fire starters.